Early Motherhood: Navigating the Fourth Trimester

The fourth trimester is the name for the first three months after your baby is born. Your baby is adjusting to life outside the womb, and you're adjusting to everything: your body, your sleep, your relationship, your identity. It is a lot, and it's supposed to feel like a lot.

Expect your baby to want you, constantly

Newborns want to be close, fed and held, around the clock. That's not a habit you're creating. It's what they need right now. Contact naps, wearing your baby in a carrier and feeding often are all normal parts of this stage. It does get easier as the weeks go on.

Feeding takes time to settle

Whether you're breastfeeding, bottle feeding or doing a mix, the early weeks are a learning curve for both of you. If something hurts, if your baby isn't gaining weight, or if you're dreading every feed, ask for help early. A lactation consultant, your midwife or your Maternal and Child Health nurse can make a big difference. Fed and supported is the goal.

Protect your rest

Broken sleep is unavoidable, but exhaustion doesn't have to be. A few things that help:

• Sleep when someone else can watch the baby, even for an hour
• Share the night with your partner where you can
• Say no to anything that isn't essential
• Keep easy food and water within reach of wherever you feed

Manage visitors

Everyone wants to meet the baby. You're allowed to keep visits short, ask people to wash their hands, and only say yes to those who make your life easier. The best visitors bring a meal, hold the baby while you shower, and leave the kitchen cleaner than they found it.

Look after your relationship

New parents often feel like ships passing in the night. A five-minute check-in each day, asking "how are you actually going?", helps you both feel less alone. Partners are adjusting too, and they need support and information just as much.

Your identity is shifting

Many new parents feel a strange mix of love and loss. Love for this tiny person, and grief for the freedom, body or sense of self they had before. Both can be true. Talking about it with people who understand, whether that's friends, a parents' group or a professional, helps.

Know where to turn

Your Maternal and Child Health nurse is a wonderful resource in Victoria, and the Maternal and Child Health Line is available 24 hours a day on 13 22 29. If your mood is low, anxious or just not right for more than a couple of weeks, call the PANDA National Helpline on 1300 726 306 or speak to your GP. Asking for help is a strength, not a sign you're failing.

You don't have to do it alone

Hands-on postpartum support can change how these months feel. Nourishing meals, help around the house, someone to answer your questions and a calm presence when you need it most. If that sounds like what you need, I'd love to chat about my First 40 Days Postpartum Care.

This article is general information only and isn't medical advice. Always talk to your midwife, GP or obstetrician about your own situation.